As I stare out the window, the sun shines but you know that there is an inviting chill in the air. Winter mornings are something quite beautiful and refreshing. The sun is low and it's rich. As I sip my black honey tea, I feel at peace with the world. Slow breathing; effortless. My mind drifts into a state of meditation, though I am very much awake.
And that is when I can dream, where I can really think.
We live our lives longing for purpose. We want to be accepted, to own a place in this world. Just being alive is enough for that place to exist, but perhaps we don't realise that. When are we our true selves when we have so many facets? Often it is people who define your place. We often think this is influenced by the negative. The people staring at us and taking us in. What are they thinking? We feel judged. Why are they looking at me? Do they know me? Do they know that sacred hidden depth? We're scared, we shy away. It takes a fraction of a second to create a first impression. We try our best to please, but pleasing everyone doesn't please yourself. We often find that we are ourselves when we are on our own. A discovery period. Why is it so hard to show yourself? We seem to sieve out the possibility that we are cared for and long for more of it. The more people who accept us, the better, right? Is it? Can't we just be content knowing that the people who do care have buckets of love and acceptation for us. We are able to show them a close depiction of who we are, but even then, each person may see a different individual. An interesting thought that different people can bring out different sides of us that we didn't know could exist. I don't want to hide, but I'm scared.
We can't stand to be fragile and vulnerable. We want to show strength and know what we are doing in this world, but no one gets a manual. I don't suppose anyone can live the same life twice. In fact, it is impossible. However, we all feel the same emotions in some way or another. Or to have been to the same place as another, but at a different time and state to life.
We think too much of ourselves. We don't think anyone understands how we feel and that is enough to feel lost. We don't seem to realise how blind we are being. We just think it is our oneself who experiences this but how about if we open our minds. We, perhaps as a world could get along in such a peaceful way. Wouldn't life be boring then? - I hear a whisper. Yes. Perhaps it would be?
Who we are on the streets is how we want to be perceived. We cover the invisible and emit our 'perfect' selves. I wonder what life would be like if we stripped it all away. We would probably unravel the innocence of our childhood. We would be more playful and not afraid. Children don't place much significance on acceptance until they meet 'different' people. These others think different is wrong, when perhaps they are the ones who are troubled. Somehow we feel it is our fault and get alienated and insecure. We become shy.
That isn't my true self. It is only what people see and it is what you begin to believe. So why the incapability to show that. Is it protection? Yes. Probably. How about we start believing in who we are although we can keep our secrets hidden? We will be able to live in pride, showing off ourselves, rather than showing off our 'best selves'.
But where does this lead?
What does this mean?
