Tea with the absence of honey is bitter.
I have a mug with a smile at the bottom. It is quite a satisfactory smile with a little tongue peeping out, but none the less, it is a friendly mug. It's got quite a large capacity so it is fantastic for thirsty tea, coffee or hot chocolate drinkers. I was in good need of some tea with added honey and lemon. I always use the raw ingredients as I believe you get the most goodness out of it and a stronger taste than those mixed packs in supermarkets. I find this drink very comforting and while I had my big mug, tea at the ready I took a journey.
The honey wasn't mixing well but the lemon was floating and bobbing playfully. Lemon Tea is nice without honey but I think the fact I had honey meant that I knew the sweetness was soon to come. I sipped my tea faster. "What am I doing?" I thought, "I'm supposed to be savouring my tea." But I wanted to get to the sweetness. I had enough of the bitter taste of the black tea and lemon. But that surface was so refreshing, why did I want to leave it? Perhaps it didn't taste good enough?
The cheeky expression at the bottom of my mug smiled at me as I continued to gulp away. Soon enough that bitterness turned sweet, an overlapping delicious transition with a full sensation to earn. I finally reached the full sweetness. But it wasn't as sweet as I had hoped because I hadn't put enough of this sweetness into my mug. I rushed my tea for the faint taste of honey swirling invisibly. I was disappointed and deflated.
No one likes a bitter world. We want sweetness and a smiling face at the end of the day. So why do we rush it? Why are we not content at where we stand right now in this present moment? Why is the future so much better? I think we should try and savour our mugs of tea, coffee, hot chocolate, juice or water. We should savour time and the see world in a mindful way, smell the world in a mindful way, hear the world in a mindful way, feel the world in a mindful way and of course, taste the world in a mindful way.
We can sometimes forget and lose sight and forgot to feel, through the rush of life. It perhaps might give us a sense of calm, purpose, joy and make us remember what life is really about it.
Thursday, 21 February 2013
Monday, 11 February 2013
Finding a way out of an anxious fog with it's toxic relationships
I look around, they smoke like chimneys. Young racing hearts, reckless. They live life to the full. Youth - Love. Sex. Drugs. We see the faces, the observers. We see them, with their vulnerable and neutral expressions. They look at us, or maybe they don't?
A guy stubs out his cigarette on the cold ground as the bus approaches. I pick up my heavy load of groceries and reluctantly inhale that ashy smell of poison. I have smelt that stench and some like it too much recently. I look around, they all do it. It's cool right? I swallow and do my best to breath the air that is fresh as I look out the window. Soon the smoke disperses.
While I was on this ten minute bus ride, I couldn't help but wonder what made him start smoking in the first place. I thought it was about fitting in, they did it because of peer pressure. I have thought since then it could be that they come from a family whom their parents smoke. But more recently I have twigged that perhaps this person and people like him are going through downward spiral. We have all heard how smoking nicotine and illegal drugs can relax and improve the perception in mind of the smoker. However it can make their problem a whole lot worse. A new problem. A sick addiction. Their initial problem has now gone out the window, locked in the back of their minds. They know it's bad, but they just can't stop. Every New Year, each one secretly hopes "THIS will be the year I get over it." But they need it, their food, their drink, their love. A sick lusting entertainment and escape not only before their eyes but in their mind.
----
Sometimes smoking and taking drugs may seem like an easier way to sort out a problem. I wonder how many of you are succumbing to these death traps, scrabbling, clawing your way out. But it deals with your worries, right?
Facing the world when it's dark and looking forward is sometimes the only thing you can do. Your only option is to breath and sometimes that can be frightening. It's too much, is too fast, it's too tense. You just want to do it right.
Options?
Dance it out. No one says you have to be an expert. Even five minutes of 'Night Fever' zooming your arm up and down counts. Guys you may prefer football with your friends or if you are more of a flying solo guy, how about running? Take a jog down round your street and feel that cool air fill your lungs and lift the silt and blackness out, circulating your body. Your heart pumping, unraveling your soul and surging you with the energy of which is life. Engage with the endorphins in your head. They make you happier than any amount of drug pulsating in your blood stream. It may feel like a weakness stepping away from your drug one baby step at a time. How do you get over someone you love? The chemicals in your brain work in the same way and it always seems lonely at first to stick out on your own. Once you do and give that chance for real, you begin to feel that strength returning. It often hasn't been touched by many young adults for a long time and continues not to until we choose it. It's about being ready. There are many ways to take your mind off stress. Relaxing music helps. It doesn't have to be the 5th Symphony but something that will capture your soul and take it to a new level, feeling some natural sensations your body was made to experience in a pure state of health.
Writing is a fantastic tool. You could write a story on your experiences on what has made your angry and frustrated throughout your life? Write something everyday even if you have never been the best speller or grammar nerd. Sometimes it's about discovering your ambitions and interests. The next pen to paper creation could be a eye catching work of art, depicting life's troubles and the process of wandering through a torch-less land till you find that lamp of hope.
None said it is easy dealing with stress and anxiety. In fact it makes life and the simplest things in life seem very hard but the main thing is that you are not alone. Talk to a friend, or a family member or someone professional who knows and talks to people regularly. The moment we feel that we are no longer alone, is the moment when we can finally start the journey of believing in ourselves again. Even that journey may take a long time, but it's a step right?
My advice is none in the least professional but everyone around you has been through something or has learned to overcome in some way.
If you really want to become the happy person you want to be and I mean really want it, then you will. Surround yourself in positivity, even if you don't believe at first. Once you build up your exposure to positive quotes or people then that perception of negativity ticks over and you remember what it's like to feel human again. I know this because it's true, but you have to trust it and trust yourself.
Anyone you see has a story to tell on those blank and neutral faces that we wear on the bus, or at school/work and on the street. We all want to look strong enough and we may envy that slight smile on someones face just because we want to steal it for our own. Perhaps they have just managed to achieve that renewed feeling after a long and rollercoaster journey, because it is possible.
A guy stubs out his cigarette on the cold ground as the bus approaches. I pick up my heavy load of groceries and reluctantly inhale that ashy smell of poison. I have smelt that stench and some like it too much recently. I look around, they all do it. It's cool right? I swallow and do my best to breath the air that is fresh as I look out the window. Soon the smoke disperses.
While I was on this ten minute bus ride, I couldn't help but wonder what made him start smoking in the first place. I thought it was about fitting in, they did it because of peer pressure. I have thought since then it could be that they come from a family whom their parents smoke. But more recently I have twigged that perhaps this person and people like him are going through downward spiral. We have all heard how smoking nicotine and illegal drugs can relax and improve the perception in mind of the smoker. However it can make their problem a whole lot worse. A new problem. A sick addiction. Their initial problem has now gone out the window, locked in the back of their minds. They know it's bad, but they just can't stop. Every New Year, each one secretly hopes "THIS will be the year I get over it." But they need it, their food, their drink, their love. A sick lusting entertainment and escape not only before their eyes but in their mind.
----
Sometimes smoking and taking drugs may seem like an easier way to sort out a problem. I wonder how many of you are succumbing to these death traps, scrabbling, clawing your way out. But it deals with your worries, right?
Facing the world when it's dark and looking forward is sometimes the only thing you can do. Your only option is to breath and sometimes that can be frightening. It's too much, is too fast, it's too tense. You just want to do it right.
Options?
Dance it out. No one says you have to be an expert. Even five minutes of 'Night Fever' zooming your arm up and down counts. Guys you may prefer football with your friends or if you are more of a flying solo guy, how about running? Take a jog down round your street and feel that cool air fill your lungs and lift the silt and blackness out, circulating your body. Your heart pumping, unraveling your soul and surging you with the energy of which is life. Engage with the endorphins in your head. They make you happier than any amount of drug pulsating in your blood stream. It may feel like a weakness stepping away from your drug one baby step at a time. How do you get over someone you love? The chemicals in your brain work in the same way and it always seems lonely at first to stick out on your own. Once you do and give that chance for real, you begin to feel that strength returning. It often hasn't been touched by many young adults for a long time and continues not to until we choose it. It's about being ready. There are many ways to take your mind off stress. Relaxing music helps. It doesn't have to be the 5th Symphony but something that will capture your soul and take it to a new level, feeling some natural sensations your body was made to experience in a pure state of health.
Writing is a fantastic tool. You could write a story on your experiences on what has made your angry and frustrated throughout your life? Write something everyday even if you have never been the best speller or grammar nerd. Sometimes it's about discovering your ambitions and interests. The next pen to paper creation could be a eye catching work of art, depicting life's troubles and the process of wandering through a torch-less land till you find that lamp of hope.
None said it is easy dealing with stress and anxiety. In fact it makes life and the simplest things in life seem very hard but the main thing is that you are not alone. Talk to a friend, or a family member or someone professional who knows and talks to people regularly. The moment we feel that we are no longer alone, is the moment when we can finally start the journey of believing in ourselves again. Even that journey may take a long time, but it's a step right?
My advice is none in the least professional but everyone around you has been through something or has learned to overcome in some way.
If you really want to become the happy person you want to be and I mean really want it, then you will. Surround yourself in positivity, even if you don't believe at first. Once you build up your exposure to positive quotes or people then that perception of negativity ticks over and you remember what it's like to feel human again. I know this because it's true, but you have to trust it and trust yourself.
Anyone you see has a story to tell on those blank and neutral faces that we wear on the bus, or at school/work and on the street. We all want to look strong enough and we may envy that slight smile on someones face just because we want to steal it for our own. Perhaps they have just managed to achieve that renewed feeling after a long and rollercoaster journey, because it is possible.
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
Loud through words or through camera...
It’s amazing what you
can write in blogs. I suppose that I have been feeling afraid recently.
Afraid of who I am, or where I had gone. As an Introvert labeling ourselves separates
us more from the rest of the world. There is so much influence in the media
that molds us into something this fixed ideal. Something lifts me up and
refreshes me when I see a girl that lets her natural curly hair run wild or
wearing high heels even though she is tall. I like the girls, the women who
step outside of that mold and rebels. Like I do. Sometimes you can feel so alone
walking the other way from the crowd as they make you feel guilty for not going
to that club last night. Oh she’s not sociable, she’s not important. They don’t
they anything but you know. I have a very sociable life, thank you very much
and that is made up of close knit of genuine friends and not some ones for
being used for. I like sitting round a kitchen table with some tea or some wine
laughing and talking about crazy things in this world or just making jokes.
Socialising as a teenager or a student doesn’t mean going out on the town. It’s
about being comfortable with people alike and having a good time no matter
where you are and what you are doing. I like having a good time and I like
being quirky. It’s fun.
I was watching YouTube and I'm not the kind of person who absorbs themselves in cats and dogs but rather the more interesting stuff (in my opinion) - vloggers. I love their enthusiasm for what they do and then they describe themselves as quiet characters who use the internet to express themselves and make themselves known to the world. It's quite exciting and I suppose I do that too through words.
Briefly popping back to the Introvert label have so closely talked about in my posts, particularly on the Myers-Briggs groupings, I think I will like to say that I took a bit too extreme. I almost felt I had to live up the expectations of these four letters and I felt confused and lost and realised that no one can be exactly those things, it's just a rough guide. Ironically Isabelle Myers was an INFP and Carl Jung was an INFJ - both personality types I crossed over and both personality types that are most interested in self discovery. They were finding their paths but creating those groups and finding out where they belong. I think it's different now. I should be searching who I am in a different way. Don't get too immersed in these things as they can make you go a bit nuts. Just keep the star sign name and you'll do fine.
Inspiration for this post goes to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6p1JBYWFt0&feature=g-high-lik - BECOMING YOUTUBE
(great for those who want to start YouTube or enjoy expressing themselves online)
http://www.youtube.com/carrie - An amazingly bubbly and quirky YouTuber I was talking about. Just subscribed.
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Musing: A sense of belonging...
As I stare out the window, the sun shines but you know that there is an inviting chill in the air. Winter mornings are something quite beautiful and refreshing. The sun is low and it's rich. As I sip my black honey tea, I feel at peace with the world. Slow breathing; effortless. My mind drifts into a state of meditation, though I am very much awake.
And that is when I can dream, where I can really think.
We live our lives longing for purpose. We want to be accepted, to own a place in this world. Just being alive is enough for that place to exist, but perhaps we don't realise that. When are we our true selves when we have so many facets? Often it is people who define your place. We often think this is influenced by the negative. The people staring at us and taking us in. What are they thinking? We feel judged. Why are they looking at me? Do they know me? Do they know that sacred hidden depth? We're scared, we shy away. It takes a fraction of a second to create a first impression. We try our best to please, but pleasing everyone doesn't please yourself. We often find that we are ourselves when we are on our own. A discovery period. Why is it so hard to show yourself? We seem to sieve out the possibility that we are cared for and long for more of it. The more people who accept us, the better, right? Is it? Can't we just be content knowing that the people who do care have buckets of love and acceptation for us. We are able to show them a close depiction of who we are, but even then, each person may see a different individual. An interesting thought that different people can bring out different sides of us that we didn't know could exist. I don't want to hide, but I'm scared.
We can't stand to be fragile and vulnerable. We want to show strength and know what we are doing in this world, but no one gets a manual. I don't suppose anyone can live the same life twice. In fact, it is impossible. However, we all feel the same emotions in some way or another. Or to have been to the same place as another, but at a different time and state to life.
We think too much of ourselves. We don't think anyone understands how we feel and that is enough to feel lost. We don't seem to realise how blind we are being. We just think it is our oneself who experiences this but how about if we open our minds. We, perhaps as a world could get along in such a peaceful way. Wouldn't life be boring then? - I hear a whisper. Yes. Perhaps it would be?
Who we are on the streets is how we want to be perceived. We cover the invisible and emit our 'perfect' selves. I wonder what life would be like if we stripped it all away. We would probably unravel the innocence of our childhood. We would be more playful and not afraid. Children don't place much significance on acceptance until they meet 'different' people. These others think different is wrong, when perhaps they are the ones who are troubled. Somehow we feel it is our fault and get alienated and insecure. We become shy.
That isn't my true self. It is only what people see and it is what you begin to believe. So why the incapability to show that. Is it protection? Yes. Probably. How about we start believing in who we are although we can keep our secrets hidden? We will be able to live in pride, showing off ourselves, rather than showing off our 'best selves'.
But where does this lead?
What does this mean?
And that is when I can dream, where I can really think.
We live our lives longing for purpose. We want to be accepted, to own a place in this world. Just being alive is enough for that place to exist, but perhaps we don't realise that. When are we our true selves when we have so many facets? Often it is people who define your place. We often think this is influenced by the negative. The people staring at us and taking us in. What are they thinking? We feel judged. Why are they looking at me? Do they know me? Do they know that sacred hidden depth? We're scared, we shy away. It takes a fraction of a second to create a first impression. We try our best to please, but pleasing everyone doesn't please yourself. We often find that we are ourselves when we are on our own. A discovery period. Why is it so hard to show yourself? We seem to sieve out the possibility that we are cared for and long for more of it. The more people who accept us, the better, right? Is it? Can't we just be content knowing that the people who do care have buckets of love and acceptation for us. We are able to show them a close depiction of who we are, but even then, each person may see a different individual. An interesting thought that different people can bring out different sides of us that we didn't know could exist. I don't want to hide, but I'm scared.
We can't stand to be fragile and vulnerable. We want to show strength and know what we are doing in this world, but no one gets a manual. I don't suppose anyone can live the same life twice. In fact, it is impossible. However, we all feel the same emotions in some way or another. Or to have been to the same place as another, but at a different time and state to life.
We think too much of ourselves. We don't think anyone understands how we feel and that is enough to feel lost. We don't seem to realise how blind we are being. We just think it is our oneself who experiences this but how about if we open our minds. We, perhaps as a world could get along in such a peaceful way. Wouldn't life be boring then? - I hear a whisper. Yes. Perhaps it would be?
Who we are on the streets is how we want to be perceived. We cover the invisible and emit our 'perfect' selves. I wonder what life would be like if we stripped it all away. We would probably unravel the innocence of our childhood. We would be more playful and not afraid. Children don't place much significance on acceptance until they meet 'different' people. These others think different is wrong, when perhaps they are the ones who are troubled. Somehow we feel it is our fault and get alienated and insecure. We become shy.
That isn't my true self. It is only what people see and it is what you begin to believe. So why the incapability to show that. Is it protection? Yes. Probably. How about we start believing in who we are although we can keep our secrets hidden? We will be able to live in pride, showing off ourselves, rather than showing off our 'best selves'.
But where does this lead?
What does this mean?
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Why is it ok to be Single?
Why does it seem like a sin, a poor, inferior way of living when you don't have a man/woman on your arm? There is a freedom of making your own decisions and socialising to your own degree and not having to live up to the expectations of your other half. I don't know... I just feel like moving to Uni that I'll be surrounded by more experienced/attached people. I don't know about you, but sometimes I almost feel ashamed to say "No, I've never had a boyfriend.."and they are always surprised. I don't want to feel like that in particular. I'm an independent woman who is fairly attractive; pretty yet natural. I would like those words to come across when someone next asks of my status.
When we start school from a young age we get exposed to other types of beauty and wish other characteristics of ourselves. One friend always goes to me "You're so thin!" whenever she gives me a hug and I never know what to say. It's an observation more the less, but one I don't think about of myself because it's a quality I am in harmony with. I have my flaws though, I'm not perfect and sometimes we feel that we have to be. Why?
We don't want to shed our weaknesses; I guess it makes us feel unattractive and unworthy of ever finding love. We wallow in the lack of self confidence and express that in different ways. Personally I think there are two ways.
The Extravert
- Covers up their flaws, whether they use make up/ fake tan or a thick emotional barrier, concealing their sensitive depths and dressing in revealing and suggestive clothing. If someone gives them attention they think it's good, they have won the jackpot and often believe they will find happiness this way and it will boost their confidence. Whether they are considered ugly or attractive their loud exterior is attractive enough to win over potential one night stands and lovers.
The Introvert
- Subconsciously gives out signs of wanting to be invisible when really they are shouting out to be loved. They cover a wide spectrum of appearences but often keep a neutral expression when they are walking on their own which often makes them appear cold, this also includes lack of eye contact. They open up to a select few and often need to be approached first. They are considered quite dull to those who don't know them.
Whether you an Introvert or Extravert when you have confidence you are simply a more open person in a genuine way. That may surprise you Extraverts, but Introverts like to be social too. They just like to be social in small bursts and their energy runs out quicker.
The whole university lifestyle as student is so Extraverted in it's layout. That's ok, but how do us Introverts go and meet people when the idea of small talk is seen a waste of time, energy draining and simply overwhelming?
What I'm saying it's that, whether an Extravert is confident or not, they make it much easier to make connections. In comparison to Introverts, these connections are short lived while the Introvert looks for life-long relationships. I had a school reunion last month and there is one female who was simply the Queen Bee. She always has been and it's always be in her nature - the most classic types of Extravert. We all sat down awkwardly wondering what on earth to say these other people who we hadn't seen for years and frankly people we didn't really mind not keep in contact with. The female started chatting away and I thought to myself on the other side of the table "How does she find it so easy, it's not fair my mind just goes blank?"And later that night when we were walking home she was saying that she too found it awkward but her coping mechanism worked by chatting mindlessly on nerves about anything, which thankfully the rest of us sighed with relief, listening to whatever she had to say.
She seemed like the most confident person in the world, I always thought, once being one of many of her friends. She oddly confided to us all saying that she was nervous about going to Uni and worried that no one would like her. Across the table I disagreed "That's crazy! Everyone likes you!" and some nods here and the there around the tables chorused. We were frankly surprised.
I guess we all worry about those things. We want to be liked. We want to show that we have potential.
However the word 'boyfriend' seems tacky to me. Some immature male who is out to break your heart in and says "I love you" meaning "I Luv U" which doesn't mean much at all. It's like a social tag, while husband, partner or other half seems much more sincere and meaningful.
However, as much as it is nice to belong to someone in that way, you have to be emotionally ready for those things. Going back to Introverts and Extraverts; we all want someone. Extraverts certainly get a lot more sex hands down, but as an Introvert I would happily by-pass any superficial relationships and one night stands with a few long-term relationships I can learn from effectively.
No one should feel pressured to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I doesn't mean to say that we aren't good enough if we don't. Being independent has made me realise who I am as a person which in turn has given me confidence and there is no reason why anyone else shouldn't feel that that too. Besides just because you may be single, doesn't mean people don't care about you, because they probably do.
When we start school from a young age we get exposed to other types of beauty and wish other characteristics of ourselves. One friend always goes to me "You're so thin!" whenever she gives me a hug and I never know what to say. It's an observation more the less, but one I don't think about of myself because it's a quality I am in harmony with. I have my flaws though, I'm not perfect and sometimes we feel that we have to be. Why?
We don't want to shed our weaknesses; I guess it makes us feel unattractive and unworthy of ever finding love. We wallow in the lack of self confidence and express that in different ways. Personally I think there are two ways.
The Extravert
- Covers up their flaws, whether they use make up/ fake tan or a thick emotional barrier, concealing their sensitive depths and dressing in revealing and suggestive clothing. If someone gives them attention they think it's good, they have won the jackpot and often believe they will find happiness this way and it will boost their confidence. Whether they are considered ugly or attractive their loud exterior is attractive enough to win over potential one night stands and lovers.
The Introvert
- Subconsciously gives out signs of wanting to be invisible when really they are shouting out to be loved. They cover a wide spectrum of appearences but often keep a neutral expression when they are walking on their own which often makes them appear cold, this also includes lack of eye contact. They open up to a select few and often need to be approached first. They are considered quite dull to those who don't know them.
Whether you an Introvert or Extravert when you have confidence you are simply a more open person in a genuine way. That may surprise you Extraverts, but Introverts like to be social too. They just like to be social in small bursts and their energy runs out quicker.
The whole university lifestyle as student is so Extraverted in it's layout. That's ok, but how do us Introverts go and meet people when the idea of small talk is seen a waste of time, energy draining and simply overwhelming?
What I'm saying it's that, whether an Extravert is confident or not, they make it much easier to make connections. In comparison to Introverts, these connections are short lived while the Introvert looks for life-long relationships. I had a school reunion last month and there is one female who was simply the Queen Bee. She always has been and it's always be in her nature - the most classic types of Extravert. We all sat down awkwardly wondering what on earth to say these other people who we hadn't seen for years and frankly people we didn't really mind not keep in contact with. The female started chatting away and I thought to myself on the other side of the table "How does she find it so easy, it's not fair my mind just goes blank?"And later that night when we were walking home she was saying that she too found it awkward but her coping mechanism worked by chatting mindlessly on nerves about anything, which thankfully the rest of us sighed with relief, listening to whatever she had to say.
She seemed like the most confident person in the world, I always thought, once being one of many of her friends. She oddly confided to us all saying that she was nervous about going to Uni and worried that no one would like her. Across the table I disagreed "That's crazy! Everyone likes you!" and some nods here and the there around the tables chorused. We were frankly surprised.
I guess we all worry about those things. We want to be liked. We want to show that we have potential.
However the word 'boyfriend' seems tacky to me. Some immature male who is out to break your heart in and says "I love you" meaning "I Luv U" which doesn't mean much at all. It's like a social tag, while husband, partner or other half seems much more sincere and meaningful.
However, as much as it is nice to belong to someone in that way, you have to be emotionally ready for those things. Going back to Introverts and Extraverts; we all want someone. Extraverts certainly get a lot more sex hands down, but as an Introvert I would happily by-pass any superficial relationships and one night stands with a few long-term relationships I can learn from effectively.
No one should feel pressured to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I doesn't mean to say that we aren't good enough if we don't. Being independent has made me realise who I am as a person which in turn has given me confidence and there is no reason why anyone else shouldn't feel that that too. Besides just because you may be single, doesn't mean people don't care about you, because they probably do.
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Boundless energy from child to adult
Being the youngest in my family, you forget how limitless the energy of children is. For two days I have had two of my youngest relatives round who were granted a trip to Legoland. I've always had an inner child in me and invited myself along in words of that effect. It was great fun but I got also understand the discipline placed on by their dad and grandma aswell as the reason why they wanted to run off to the next ride. They live in a dream world full of imagination and by the end of the day, even my bursts of excessive energy were starting to burn out. As we sat outside for a barbecue in the evening and the little ones got down and ran around, jumping on the trampoline, I realised that I was beginning to feel more comfortable on the adult table, where discussion felt relevant to me and I just wanted to lie flat on the fall and drop off the sleep. We grow up and ten or so years ago I was their age and I wonder what they will be like in ten years with their innocent smiles being wiped off their faces, while I still feel my remains.
I suppose it's all about 'the great circle of life'
I suppose it's all about 'the great circle of life'
Monday, 13 August 2012
Understanding the depth of an Introverted (INFJ)
Do you ever wonder what your place in the world is? Do you strive for meaning in pretty much everything? My mind is deep and complex and I have this intuition and intense understanding in people that not many others have. Sometimes I feel lost.
I have always been interested in who I am and where I am going in this life and have taken personality test after personality test. I've been naïve and I may continue to do so reading through article after article on the Myers-Briggs personality type websites and searching for who I am and how to improve myself and with those traits I always thought I was an INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perception) type, because I have this great curiosity in oneself and harmonising relationships and avoiding conflict. I then realised that these types are not very organised, and though I can be messy from time to time, I like structure, I like the familiar and routine and knowing what I am doing and that sets apart an INFP from INFJ (judging) also known as the Consoler, while the perceiving type is the Dreamer. They are both very similar. I could be crazy. I know there are many people out there who find their type and feel like someone has written about their exact character but at the same time, I know we all different.
Personally, I think Introverts are more interested in this self searching thing, than Extraverts. Us Introverts look inside ourselves and process the information there when we find that quiet place away from the loud world to charge. Why should Extraverts contemplate the world at this depth when they gain their energy from the people and the vibrant environments they are in? On the other hand, I could be totally wrong. It's just that I find that the Extraverts, don't really take in this interest of personal psychology, quite in the way that us Introverts do and that can sometimes make us question ourselves.
Being a part of the rarest personality type (apparently), I sometimes wish that other types would have the same understanding that people like me do. I don't feel understood, I feel like I have to understand myself on my own and then when I have, then thats when it can be shared.
It can be difficult being an Introvert. We search for the words in our heads that cannot just flow our naturally like the Extraverts. We pause and we trip over our words, loose confidence and let our sentences taper off, feeling that what we had to say probably wasn't important, but really it was. We talk when we have something to say, not because we want to fill in the gaps.
However, I like seeing the world like this. Philosophical dicussions in our heads or with our closest friends and why things happen and observing the world; people watching, wondering what their story is, where they are going and what brings them to this particular place and this particular time of day, when you and a thousand other people are there too.
After all like John Lennon wrote in Imagine "You may say, I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one"
Everyone can dream, but the word 'dream' can mean many things, such as a goal, or a thought or a fantasy..
We are all open to the world of imagination, no matter who we are.
I have always been interested in who I am and where I am going in this life and have taken personality test after personality test. I've been naïve and I may continue to do so reading through article after article on the Myers-Briggs personality type websites and searching for who I am and how to improve myself and with those traits I always thought I was an INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perception) type, because I have this great curiosity in oneself and harmonising relationships and avoiding conflict. I then realised that these types are not very organised, and though I can be messy from time to time, I like structure, I like the familiar and routine and knowing what I am doing and that sets apart an INFP from INFJ (judging) also known as the Consoler, while the perceiving type is the Dreamer. They are both very similar. I could be crazy. I know there are many people out there who find their type and feel like someone has written about their exact character but at the same time, I know we all different.
Personally, I think Introverts are more interested in this self searching thing, than Extraverts. Us Introverts look inside ourselves and process the information there when we find that quiet place away from the loud world to charge. Why should Extraverts contemplate the world at this depth when they gain their energy from the people and the vibrant environments they are in? On the other hand, I could be totally wrong. It's just that I find that the Extraverts, don't really take in this interest of personal psychology, quite in the way that us Introverts do and that can sometimes make us question ourselves.
Being a part of the rarest personality type (apparently), I sometimes wish that other types would have the same understanding that people like me do. I don't feel understood, I feel like I have to understand myself on my own and then when I have, then thats when it can be shared.
It can be difficult being an Introvert. We search for the words in our heads that cannot just flow our naturally like the Extraverts. We pause and we trip over our words, loose confidence and let our sentences taper off, feeling that what we had to say probably wasn't important, but really it was. We talk when we have something to say, not because we want to fill in the gaps.
However, I like seeing the world like this. Philosophical dicussions in our heads or with our closest friends and why things happen and observing the world; people watching, wondering what their story is, where they are going and what brings them to this particular place and this particular time of day, when you and a thousand other people are there too.
After all like John Lennon wrote in Imagine "You may say, I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one"
Everyone can dream, but the word 'dream' can mean many things, such as a goal, or a thought or a fantasy..
We are all open to the world of imagination, no matter who we are.
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