Personalised Healing

When you want to know a lot about something, it's natural to read up on it, esspeically with the easy access we have on the internet nowadays.

It's amazing how so many blogs are posted everyday about various things. If you want to know something, you will most likely going to find it, but what if there are so many different articles and web pages to look at on the same thing and you don't know which ones are right or nonetheless true.

Since I have been working with my anxiety, I have read many things about it and so of those resources were given to me when I was doing my therapy, so I feel like I can trust them. I also read Tiny Buddha regularly and read about other people's inspiring stories of overcoming anxiety and depression, as well as many other obstacles in life. I have even been inspired to write my own post which should be up on the website some time in February.

Articles like theses are everywhere and it's great we can share them, but sometimes I think I read too much and gather too much information about healing and relaxing. It's filling my head and I don't know which options to choose from, I don't know which options will help me. I keep telling myself to persevere and sometimes I just don't know what to persevere.

Every anxiety period is different from the one before. I feel the same symptoms but finding what will get rid of it is a nightmare. I try things that I have tried before and have worked and then they don't work. For all I know it could be that I am losing patience with myself, because I expect immediate results for everything. I know I should practice patience, but then again I find that I get impatient for not being patient fast enough. Full of so many twists and turns.

It's all about experimenting.

One thing that I have learned recently is that not all the information you read is right for you. Everyone has their own versions of life and they have their own versions of addictions and anxiety and depression, etc. We all learn about relationships differently. Some people need to go through lots of relationships to know what they want and grow up while they do that. This is anxiety is teaching me about growing up in just the same way. So, when people come to suggest mindfulness, particularly in meditation, they say it's about bringing your focus back to your body.

The body always present and I see that, but working that into my practice just got all me all aggrivated because I was simply doing the wrong thing for my body. I am hyper-aware of it as it is and I was thinking, I need to do the opposite. I know it says in books and on the internet that focusing your body is how your do it, but it doesn't work for me, I need to do it a different way, to focus the world externally, without it being distraction (an avoidance technique).

What I do know is that you can't force anything. I can't force myself to relax, no one can force themselves to be happy if they have depression. Though I repeat this to myself often: You just have to sit and feel and be present with negative sensations and let them pass on their own.

In time, it does. It's about putting up with it.

So, experiment, not every piece of advice in the book is suitable for you, but you'll what is right for you some way.